Smelling the bus funktastic

My sense of smell is all wonky today. I didn't realize it until I was on the bus going home. Granted, the bus often stinks, but there was an extra-special stink on the bus today--not your standard booze-oozing-out-the-pores body odor, but a funky, almost earthy stink. The really weird part is that it kind of smelled like food, like someone on the bus had spent the day leaning over an industrial Fry Daddy, dunking basket after basket of fries into the hot oil, and then rolled in a pile of dirty laundry before boarding the bus. But when I looked around, no one looked particularly grungy, so then I got all worried that it was me. Which is totally unlikely, because, you know, I shower and stuff (and unless I had a walking blackout, I didn't deep fry anything or roll in dirty laundry).

When I finally escaped the bus at my stop, I was surprised to find that the open-air bus stop smelled funky, too. Like mushrooms and musty soil. That's when I realized that I thought my floor at work smelledvaguely like Chinese food all day, but when I mentioned it to a coworker, she just looked at me quizzically.

What the hell?! If I have to smell odd things all day, I wish it could be something I like, such as lemons or fresh latex paint or even gasoline. Yeah, I'm one of those people: I can't really walk into a Lush store, because I find the smell overwhelming and noxious, but we pull into a gas station, and I roll down the window to take a deep breath.

(And don't bother suggesting that I might be pregnant, because I am totally not.)