Ode to my vacuum

After nearly two years of wrestling with a sucky vacuum cleaner (or, more accurately, a non-sucky vacuum) that more redistributed dirt than, say, vacuumed it up, I nearly cried tears of joy today when, using our new machine, I noticed that dust motes and other random particles on the carpet quaked and trembled in the path of the oncoming beast. They were no match for the Dirt Devil Featherlite Bagless, though they begged for mercy and clutched the acrylic loops with their dusty, motey claws. Men, women, children, the elderly alike, were sucked into its greedy maw, and me? I cackled with glee and danced a victory jig.