Wedding Central, can I help you?

It's official, folks, we have a wedding site, I repeat, we have a wedding site. All systems are GO on Operation Let's Get Hitched. Congratulations, everyone, you've all put in a lot of hard work. Now go home, shower, and kiss your kids.

The last two days have felt almost like work, what with negotiating contracts over the phone, waiting to hear back from potential sites, hearing about new sites with potential discounts and potential drawbacks. A call from Chris's dad resulted in a call to my parents, asking them to go scout a site we didn't know about over the weekend. An answer to one person was contingent on an answer from yet another person who wasn't calling back. More than once, I felt the need to chart the various permutations and scenarios on a whiteboard (which we don't actually have, but now that I think of it, it's not a bad idea). When one of us actually needed to leave the house, we were in contact via cell phones, debating our next move. Y'all, this is ridiculous!

I had an e-mail conversation a couple of weeks ago with an old friend who got married a couple of years ago (and I could totally link to her website if she would just update it...ahem) about the pitfalls of planning a wedding when you have the shopping personalities that she and I have. It's never as simple as going out and finding something you like and buying it. If I go shopping with the intention of buying, say, a new purse, I usually have an idea in mind of what I want from the purse: size, color, pockets, material, price range. So I go out, and lo, there is a purse that fits my requirements. So I buy it, right? Because it's what I'm looking for, right? Oh no, you silly thing. I have to consider the fact that this is probably the first store out of many that may have something similar, better, and less expensive. So I make a mental note of this one and proceed to all the other stores. After I make my rounds, I consider each potential purchase, and whittle the list down to two or three top choices, and then? Then I must revisit those top choices, do a mental compare and contrast (like, I do like this one better, but do I like it $20 better than the other one? Will I regret turning down the one that's $10 over my budget just because of the $10? Because how long can you string out these sorts of justifications before it becomes ridiculous?), before finally plunking down my money. It's over and done with, right? Oh no, you silly thing, because then comes the what-ifs and did-I-do-the-rightsmartestmosteconomical-things, and y'all, this is where it gets sad. I've been known to visit the first runner-up, linger over it, and reconsider, before slowly moving on, casting longing glances at it and apologizing to it. It's a fucking purse. And yet...

So you see where this is going? Wedding planning is going to be a nightmare for me. Somehow, the decision to get married felt not so momentous or agonizing as choosing a site. Perhaps because deciding to get married is not one decision, but a series of smaller decisions made over the past four years. Hm, I like this boy, he is a nice boy, and he is a smart boy. Hm, I like spending time with this boy, so I think I'll spend more time with him. Hm, spending all my time with this boy certainly is nice, so maybe I'll move across the country to live with him (okay, so maybe that decision was kind of big and momentous). Hm, living with this boy sure is nice, how 'bout let's get hitched? On the other hand, I'm being asked to put down thousands of dollars for a room, some chickensteakfish, and linens. It's a much harder decision to make, I think. And truly, in the end (and this is the lesson that the aforementioned friend, Rita, to whose site I would link if it were operative, ahem, taught me), no matter what anyone says about "this is your day, do what makes you happy," it's not just your day, it's never just your day. You invite all these people to come surround you with happiness and love and celebratory joy, and you really really want them to be happy and have a good time, eat, drink, dance, laugh, create these memories you will cherish. And how do you put a price on that?