"Oops"

I wrote this yesterday (12/21) but forgot to post it:

Here's a thought: if you're going to go into a busy downtown deli at 9a.m., don't order a toasted bagel with egg, bacon, and cheese if you're going to tap your toes impatiently and seethe, "I just don't have time for this!" at every employee who walks by you when your bagel doesn't just magically appear out of thin air. The poor woman is hauling ass to make your bagel. Shut up, impatient woman. Just a thought.

One of the funniest parts of my job is getting feedback or queries directly from readers. (Also, this can be one of the scariest, when squicky people e-mail wanting to get to know you better.) Anyway, I got an e-mail the other day from a man who had just purchased his first computer (he built it himself!) and needed recommendations for a monitor. That's not the funny part. The funny part was his rampant abuse of the quotation mark, a la Joey Tribbiani on Friends. He was looking for a "monitor" and had a "strict" budget. He knew I was probably very "busy" and so he "appreciated" any advice I could "give" him. And then he "thanked" me "very much" for my time. All I could imagine was that if this was a face-to-face verbal conversation, he'd be using the finger quotes and I'd have to consider whether this was code for a drug transaction.

I'm not a big holiday fanatic or anything, but neither am I the Grinch. I like a cheery string of lights and pretty trees tug at my heartstrings. But you'll never catch me wearing a red sweatshirt with Rudolph puffy-painted on the front and ornaments dangling from my earlobes. The rampant commercialism of Christmas kind of bugs me, so for the most part, I tune it out. So I surprised myself this morning when I found myself all bummed that the holiday stuff in my local Tully's was on sale (in a brief brain fart, I thought Christmas was over, because the holiday paraphernalia usually goes on sale after the holiday). I felt a keen pang of regret that the twinkle lights would be packed away and the sparkly ornaments would be no more. I was even a little sad that there would be no more Christmas music, which is insane, because the non-stop battery of carols has been driving me right out of my mind lately (except for "Baby It's Cold Outside" thanks to "Elf"). I don't know what it is, but I think it's that the winter holiday decorations add a little sparkle and fun to everything. And people seem cheerier, too. Maybe that's what I'll miss the most. Sure, it's no fun to go shopping with every single other person in the country digging their elbows into your back, but there's something sweet about everyone being out and about and oohing and aahing over the tree in Union Square and Macy's over-the-top yet gorgeous store trimmings. Hm…I need to go listen to the Beach Boys.