A non-conversation
Anyone who knows me knows that my mom drives me crazy. She doesn't so much talk to you as talks at you. I called her over the weekend just to say hi* and we ended up talking about our impending move. She wanted to know when we're moving. The following non-conversation ensued:
fel: We don't know exactly when we're moving yet, because we're still waiting to get quotes from movers.
Mom: Oh, so you don't have movers yet? You should get Chinese movers. They're a lot cheaper.
f: That's a great idea, but I don't know how to find Chinese movers.
M: Oh, they advertise all the time in the Chinese newspaper.
f: Ma, I don't know how to read Chinese.
M: But seriously! They're so much cheaper!
f: I didn't say they weren't. I just don't know how to go about finding them!
M: Like, for example, a Chinese mover might charge you $800, while an "American" [i.e., non-Chinese] mover might charge you $2,000.
f: What? Where did you get those numbers? How do you know that?
M: Oh, I don't know how much they really charge. It's just an example!
f: An example? Of what? Based on what?! [blood pressure builds]
M: Oh, stop it. It's just an example. Anyway, you should really get Chinese movers.
f: ... Fine, Ma. But I still don't know how to find them. Anyway, if they're so cheap, are they good?
M: Well, I don't know. I mean, you pack your own stuff and they move it, so it depends on how well you pack it.
f: Okay, but what about the furniture? Are they going to be careful or bang everything up?
M: Well, it's not like you have any nice furniture anyway.
f: Still! I want the furniture I DO HAVE to NOT BE BROKEN!
M: Geez, calm down. Anyway, you should look into Chinese movers.
f: GAH! I KNOW! BUT I DON'T READ CHINESE AND CAN'T LOOK THEM UP IN CHINESE NEWSPAPERS!
M: [all huffy] Well, fine. You don't HAVE to. I just thought it was a good idea.
f: GAAAAAH! [contemplates lying down in traffic]
*She complains that I never call her, even though I do. I just don't call as often as she'd like. But here's the thing: she never calls me. Because she's the mom and it's my job to call her. But see above: why would I?
posted by Felisa @ 9:16 AM
6 Comments:
Good one - Pae and I feel your pain, maybe because we may have participated in similar conversations.
Conversations like that happened to me and my mom ALL the time.
The worst example was when I told them I was going to take some graphic design classes after I had graduated from college. She told me that I should really think about doing taking some classes like graphic design so that I can make money with my artistic talen.
"No Mom, that's what I said I was going to do. I AM enrolling in graphic design classes now..."
She complete ignored me and for fifteen minutes the conversation revolved around why I should consider taking advertising and design classes because I had this artistic talent and I majored in fine art in school, and I'll never make any money as an artist.
I finally gave up and walked out of the room.
LOL. My mom used to frequently complain about my not calling her, but now that I have a baby she seems to have laid off a bit, at least for now! The funnier thing is that she always used to tell me "Why can't you be like Felisa? She tells her mom everything!"
Teehee!!!
I know what you mean, floshy. My Mom and Dad NEVER visit us and we live 2 hours away. However, they'll pack up and go to Japan, China, or Big Bear Lake at a moment's notice... because those places are apparently closer. Your Mom sounds like a real character. :)
I am laughing so hard.
And for the record, since Damon didn't post a comment, he laughed so hard when he read this yesterday!!
We love it!!
:D
r
(That comment about how you don't have nice furniture anyway is priceless. Like when my mom told me I lived "slum?" "Oh, you, Rita! You really live slum!")
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