Waiting

Wow, has it really been that long since I last posted? I just finished my first week of maternity leave (no baby yet...her official due date is October 26) and what I've learned is that while I am very good at wasting time when I have a lot on my to-do list, I am very bad at relaxing and doing nothing when I don't have a to-do list to fret about. I end up fretting about, well, not having anything to do. How stupid am I? Actually, I do have a to-do list, but everything on it is contingent on us getting the drywall repaired in the baby's room. We've known for a while that we needed some electrical work done in the hallway outside the baby's room and we've been dragging our feet. What we didn't know is that that work required pulling power from the baby's room, which required cutting holes in the walls of her room, which we'd already painted. So now the electrical work is done, but the holes are still there. This will be remedied on Monday, so starting Tuesday, I'll be free to nest and fret to my heart's desire.

Actually, she'll be sleeping in our room for at least the first month probably, so even if she were to arrive before the work is all done, it would be okay. Just not ideal. I've finished pre-washing all her tiny clothes and linens, we have 80 cloth diapers ready to be pooped on, and our freezer is stocked with food. So now, it's just waiting. I am not good at waiting, especially when what I'm waiting for is so exciting. Chris said he jumps a little every time I call him at work, so I've taken to starting every call with, "I'm not in labor!" instead of "Hi!"

I just need to take a moment here to state the obvious: baby clothes are so freaking tiny! I can't get over it. The socks are especially adorable. I can't believe she'll be so small.

Okay, back to waiting.

You stop that right this instant, young lady!

Do you know what is seriously uncomfortable? Needing desperately to pee while being kicked in a bladder-ly direction from the inside. Little girl, you are in so much trouble!

Growing in fits

I really expected my stomach to expand gradually. It just makes sense. But that's not how it seems to happen. When I started showing, it really did seem like the baby belly appeared overnight. I went to bed on a Friday looking normal and woke up on Saturday with a baby belly. The same thing seemed to have happened over the weekend. We were in L.A. for a brief visit with my parents and when we got back on Sunday, Chris and I both realized that my belly was suddenly looking bigger than it had on Friday. Just kaboom, bigger. Even my sister noticed when she picked us up at the airport. So weird. Good thing those maternity pants I ordered came in. I am definitely not fitting into my pre-pregnancy pants, at least not without flashing my underwear to the world.

Ptery was really active all weekend. At one point, during our flight back, I felt kicks/punches in just about every quadrant of my belly, rapid-fire. Usually, the kicks are confined to one general area, like she's testing a leg or an arm. This time, it felt like she'd figured out all her limbs and was just flailing around like a crazy thing. It was like hosting a phalanx of Rockettes in my belly.

Kung-fu baby

For the first time, we felt Ptery kicks this morning. I think I've been feeling her move around for a couple of weeks now, but I couldn't say for sure. Some of the sensations have been just light and fluttery, and I couldn't tell if it was her or just normal intestinal movement. But this morning, as I was lying on my back in bed, I felt a definite little thump under my belly button. I put my hand on the spot, and lo and behold I could feel the next little bump, not only internally, but against my hand, too! I grabbed Chris's hand and put it on the same spot and he felt the next few little kicks, as well. She was doing a one-girl kung-fu demonstration, it seems. Either that, or she thought it was about time I got out of bed (it was). It's so cool to have this kind of evidence that she's growing in there.

Speaking of growing, it's high time I went and bought some maternity pants. My work pants have been getting steadily more snug in the waist, though they fit fine everywhere else. I've resorted to using hair elastics to secure several of them (through the buttonhole and around the button), but even that is getting precarious. It'll feel good to have something stretchier around my belly, I think. I was looking at some maternity clothes online and the maternity pants with the full belly panel crack me up. They make the model look like those old men with their pants pulled up to their armpits. Heh.

Three white lines

Ptery's a girl! This is oldish news now, but I just realized that I never posted it. Before we knew, lots of people asked if we had a preference. I usually denied that we did, but in my secret heart of hearts, I hoped it would be a girl. I wasn't letting myself hope because 1. you have a 50% chance of getting the other, and 2. it really doesn't make a difference whether the baby's a boy or a girl. It's not like I'm going to tell a son, "Well, I really wanted a girl, so I'm not going to love you as much since you're a boy."

Chris and I debated which would be easier. It's a draw, I think. Everything I've read indicates that girl babies are easier to deal with: no arcs of pee during diaper changes, easier potty training, and just basically calmer. I think all that changes at puberty, though, because as I recall, teenage girls are basically evil. (I was one, and I was probably one of the less evil ones and I still am not entirely proud of my teenage self.) So evil is a strong word, but I maintain that teen girls are more difficult in every way, from the crazy hormones to the bitchiness and manipulativeness to all the outside messages you have to worry about. I do think that boys that age are a bit more easy-going and even-keeled, if not exactly graceful (physically or otherwise). And I think society presents them with fewer mixed messages than it does to girls (be sexy! but not a slut! be smart! but not too smart! you can do it all! but only while smiling!).

Really, either way, we're done for. Neither of us has much experience with babies, so I'm fully prepared to be overwhelmed. I just found out yesterday that a newborn goes through something like 15 diapers in one day. When will I have time to pee?

Blargh

If you're easily grossed out by talk of barfing, stop reading now.

This wasn't supposed to happen. You're supposed to get morning sickness during your first trimester and then it wanes at the second or it keeps going. I thought I was safe, because I was totally fine during the first trimester. But the moment I hit week 15: BLARGH. I haven't actually thrown up yet, but during the day, I get hit by these waves of "ooh...my stomach feels weird" followed by dry heaving. (I know, it's so gross. I warned you!) Candied ginger helps a bit, but nothing else really does. It's also kind of embarrassing, because have you ever seen the look of someone about to barf? Not pretty. In fact, it's alarming because you think the person's about to puke on you. So I try to keep the barf face hidden. It's easy enough during work, as I can just hide in my cube, but when I'm out and about, I end up trying to hide in my jacket or behind the person I'm with. Bleh. Hate this.

10 fingers and 10 toes

The doctors tell me that's my baby. And I say, "Sure, that's my baby. But how do you know it's human and not an alien?" But you know, they're OBs and they do this all the time, so I will trust them, for now. At least it's not a pterodactyl like I'd feared. Giving birth to something squawky with a beak and wings is a terrifying prospect. Chris and I are going to keep calling it Ptery, instead of just "it," at least until we know the gender.

The OB resident who did my last ultrasound counted 10 fingers and 10 toes (specifically, 5 fingers on each hand and 5 fingers on each foot), showed me the nose, legs, and a fluttery little heartbeat. It's pretty damn cool.

We're due toward the end of October, so who knows, we may end up giving birth to a little ghost or goblin.